red red red

I've been drawing for a few years and in the last couple of years I've been experimenting with colors. First pencils, then pastels and during one of my trips I bought some watercolors and have been using them when the mood strikes me.
I've been using green, yellow, black, brown and blue. They've worked but not for everything.
I missed the red. No problem right. Pick up a red when I can but...everyone here sells the watercolor sets not individual pans.
It got to the point where I contemplated going back to Italy to get a red pan of watercolor.
BUT! yesterday on the way to LACMA I stopped at an art store and I had to ask and they had rundown display of individual water color pans! 90% were gone and the pieces that were left were dusty but they had red. A dingy red but red.
I just did a test and it's great!
That is what I wanted for christmas and I got it.
My needs are simple.

Fear

We all know fear.
When I was little I looked for comfort. Familiarity. Certainty.
I still like known qualities and surroundings as my base but...
That voice... In the back of my head... The fear voice... When it says "Fuck no! I'm not doing that!"
The instinct I developed to protect me I've learned to disconnect to drive, inspire and impress me.
I don't take crazy risks or break the law ( that I would admit) but I've been pushing back against my limits and really i can truly saw this is the best time in my life.

heaven's gate

The worst movie ever.
No. Tedious. A resounding yes.
I watched the dvd with an open mind. How bad could it be, really.
After an hour I had to stop. To rest.
In the second hour I put it on fast play. 1.4x speed and STILL! it plodded.
My god!
COME ON!
I got to intermission and left.
I picked it up again 4 days later.
This was like a kid with a piece of gristle he had to eat. I was going to finish it.
Two days ago I sent it back to netflix.
One star.
I've seen zero star movies. Netflix won't let you go zero stars but it was better than that.
Unless you absolutely have a need to see it. Move on.

splitting

I haven't ridden in a long time. I had a motorcycle safety class this morning and my coworker, through profound generosity, lent me his bike to ride for a couple of days.
I was beat last night and this week work was a bitch so this morning. I woke up at 8am. Missed my class but got some desperately needed sleep.
The day was hot and clear. The weather has been like this for weeks and I've been filing up with the sense that I'm missing the opportunity to ride. Today I had the means and the desire so this afternoon I was off.
Now last night I picked up the bike and rode on the freeway at night on a poorly lit stretch of the 71. I could feel my pulse pushing through my neck. The elevated overpass transitioning to the 60, heights freak me out and knowing I was up and on a motorcycle that could easily lose control keep me on edge. A few times the asphalt grooved and jerked the bike to the side or up causing a few episode of tense puckering on my part.
I was freaked but really down deep. I loved it. When I got home I felt like I accomplished something. I stayed alive, yes, a minor achievement but there were times when I wanted to pull off take a safer route but I pushed and kept to the original plan and did it.

This afternoon, I went to Cooks Corner. Down the 5 to the 55 up in the hills. The day was as promised. Hot but with my jacket open, perfect. A new band was playing covers of Zeppelin and the like. What a day.

After an hour or so, back on the road.

55
5..
Traffic.

Now I will readily admit.
I'm a pussy on a motorcycle.
I"m new. I don't push it. I rarely go over 70mph and I stay to the right when I can.
But..
I was feeling it. That nerve that will sometimes get hit that says...Go ahead...try it.
The nerve has a pretty good record so...
BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...
FUCK! The lane markers were uneven and as I was over them I knew I was going to go between cars, over the markers that could push me, left, right, fuck, I don't know.
BUMP ...BUMP ...BUMP...
Traffic slowed....
BUMP...BUMP ...BUMP...
Opening....on the right...

BUMP....BUMP....BUMP...
SUV on my left...truck on my right......BUMP ....BUMP ...BUMP....Truck moved....and I was three wide in two lanes....then I was clear....

Anyone that has been riding for a while can see this is a minor accomplishment hardly worth noting for two seconds in a conversation let alone to write down but FUCK YOU....I did it...and I did it again....
A long row of cars. Traffic. 20 mph...
BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...
This was it ...this was the real shit. ....
White car in the fast lane....VW sedan, grey in the second lane...
BUMP...BUMP ....BUMP...
White car moves over....and I'm in the crease....passing...passing...passing...FUCK! I'm doing it...I'm that guy!
Then open road!
wow! I nearly shit myself twice and I was three across a couple of times hoping neither one of my comrades in traffic would take a call, change a station or fart, swerve and kill me, but hey...this is living.

I'm not going to make a habit of this but from time to time....I like to see how the odds are treating me.
Peace fuckers...

blog

I helped my brother set up his blog. His looked really good so I decided to take a look and see what I could do with mine. Been a while since I played with it.
Life is much the same. Nothing new to report. No trips or events really.
Tonight, fireworks at my oldest friends house. The guys, barbeque, and fire. What more could you ask.

plants

Vegas weekend. Up. Down. The energy was different this trip. Each time has it's moments. I'm glad I went. Got away for a bit.
On the way back I left early. 2pm or so and wandered my way home. I wanted gas so I saw an ARCO sign at Minneola only to find every building was boarded up, empty or in the process of being slowly reclaimed by vandals.
I went a little further and pulled off in Barstow at Main street. I usually get a burrito, gas, coke and keep going but, since I was by myself, I made and executive decision and followed Main Street to see where it went.
Downtown Barstow reminded me of a corn cob that fell out of a trash can. At one time fresh but now dried up, cracking and faded. I kept going to see if it would get better but it didn't. I've seen worse...MUCH worse...I got out of my car at one point to get gas and I didn't feel unsafe but it's sad to see a place dimmed so much.
I got to Lenwood. Made a right to get to the freeway again and I saw a sign. DESERT PLANTS. Plants for sale out of someone's front yard. I like plants. I need some for the house and this seemed like an interesting place to stop.
Mostly dirt there were a few dozen cactus, succulents and stuff I didn't know what it was growing in pots, planters and in the ground. I picked up one and looked around for the owner. I walked around for a couple of minutes until a man, like a twig this guy, 6'2", glasses and a white beard that looked like a soap brush came out.
The man came and behind him three cats in about the same shape he was in, all of them calling, and hopping on table and plant.
This guy was seventy. At least. In the desert. Maybe younger but however many years they were hard, but he was smiley, polite and I could feel a big kind heart behind that beard. We chatted for a bit. Talked about plants. I picked up another plant and offered a bit more than he asked, to be polite. He told me I had to come back to get some Joshua trees he was growing.
Next time. I'm stopping.
I do need plants.
And it's not far off the Lenwood Exit on the 15. If you need a plant or just want to meet a cool old man trying to keep it going stop.
Lenwood and Main, Barstow.

two movies

I use netflix and have for some time. It's interesting how when I put my list together, mostly at random in the middle of the night, how I end up with de facto film festivals, with an actor or director but tonight it was a theme.
On the menu tonight. Black Hawk Down and The Seventh Seal. Fuck....
They both wore me out.
Black Hawk Down I had to stop several times and rest because the sound, scenery and tension was too much. The Seventh Seal I had to stop once because my head got tired. Lot of symbolism running around and it's late.
I saw a documentary on the Bhuddah last week. Throw that in the mix and there is a lot of stuff going on in my head and in my heart.
Fascinating.
Lots of work this week.
Weather is good.
Tired.
But a trip to vegas and another round of motorcycles on tap for next weekend.
Life is good.