the day before

Laundry, dishes, tv...
Usually I'm right to the airport at the first opportunity for my vacation. This time, day before and couple of days after, free. It's relaxing. I'm learning a bit about what works for me.
It's about fucking time...

tomorrow...the air port....

It's going to be fun....

the drama continues...

The last few days have been ok. Shit is still happening that is annoying but for the most part things are on the right track. I don't feel 100% but i'll get there.
I am doing better than my christian doppleganger. This blog is not going to become a repost of his life on facebook but when I got home I was in an iffy mood. Ate, started a movie and checked facebook for a second and this is what I found....

going to have a sad x-mas without the person i love hope she will come back...posted 3 hours ago ...

A little whiney but we've all been there right...
Scrolled down and found this...

need a roommate....posted 4 hours ago ...

I laughed out loud.
I know I've been hit by some busses in my time and everytime I learned and for the most part have not been hit (seriously) by the same bus twice. Apparently in alternate universes, I have not learned that lesson yet.

trip

Ok, that last post was a downer. this won't be much better but at least its a different subject.

The plan for this years trip has been set for some time but now I'm going through the bureaucracy of getting government approvals and that blows. I'm still going, getting jerked around for no good reason is annoying.

I don't feel any better.

the facebook mirror

Haven't posted a bit but things have been going on.
My last post was a little disjointed so let me clear it up.

On facebook, I added a bunch of Paul Caballero's to see if the life i'm living here is similar to the life I'm living in other bodies in other parts of the world. Apparently, I'm pretty much the same everywhere.

The most disturbing me is a Christian living in texas that does not write very well. He will go silent for a while then go on jags where he posts how great god is and to follow the word. Three four posts in ten minutes. Scary.

When I see him post I'm fascinated but scared. Is there part of me in there too? Probably. As we will see, definitely.

Broke up with the girlfriend. It's been a few weeks. I've been down but handling it.

Checking facebook...What do I see...these are direct quotes from psycho christian me...

BrokeN
This is for the broken hearted.
I know how you feel. Empty, betrayed, and no happiness whatsoever. You don't want to laugh, because you know it's not going to help, but you don't want to cry, because it will just make you feel worse. You feel like your heart is falling apart, but not only that, but you know soon your life is going to feel like it's falling apart too.

then days later...

You were my first love
The earth moving under me
Bedroom scent, beauty ardent
Distant shiver, heaven sent

followed by...

i feel so broken inside that it making me cry they said a man does cry i do that a lie when u love someone u cry like a babe plz can one or two of my tell me what to do

Holy shit...!
I'll spare the previous posts where in the space of 20 hours he professes his love for the girl that was his new girlfriend and now it's busted on the side of the road. I remember being that paul caballero...Not too long ago...whoa...

I wrote poems, I cried until my cheeks hurt but fuck I didn't even think I could remember those times.

I posted on the christian me's page to hang on, let it feel as bad as it does because it will get better.

I learned that lesson but wow...to see me having to learn it again....from far away...wow....

the internet is a strange place...

Interesting how the universe works

I'm at the airport. Good trip. Dodgers lost but I had fun. Had some time between things so I check mail, facebook etc.

Checking facebook, the psycho Christian me on facebook posts this...

I had an ex from my past call me. She can't get over past can sum help her get past.

Come on! Really! Even my fucked up Christian self can't hit the fairway when it comes to women?

Plane is boarding.., it gets better...
Depending on how you look at it...

Facebook

So I'm on facebook. I'm conflicted about it. It seems so self important, it brings out the narcissism in a lot of us, and there is alot of that going around in society.
So I thought I would at least put a spin on it.
I searched for Paul caballero's. Turns out there are a lot of them. I'm curios so I friend one in Columbia. He speaks only Spanish. I. Get updates from him I can't understand. I should but I don't. Funny.
I friend another one in new York. He's ok but a little quiet. I pick up one on no cal and another one I texas. 
Interesting to think my other selves living my other lives.
So I check facebook occasionally and one night the Texas me posts three messages in about ten minutes... Crazy shit. Oh fuck! Texas me is a born again Christian! He's posting bible quotes and Sunday school stuff. 
He freaks me out but I decide not to dump him. He is afterall my sort of brother and I have sides of me I don't like but I still keep on going.
Wacky Christian me is quiet a lot but every week or so blasts facebook with manic posts about god and the plan and bible quotes.
Weird.
I don't know where it comes from but I feel connected to all of it.
I'm not changing my course but it's funny when Christian me goes off and I think... What the hell am I talking about?
Colombian me speaks only Spanish and I can't understand and Christian me speaks English and I can't understand. Nice!

hot

Came home the other day. My house was an oven. Heat coming from the floor it was so hot..but Vin Scully on the radio, Dodgers on the TV. Beat the Giants and everything is right.
I dragged myself into the new year. The birthday trip was good but not as exotic as I'm accustomed and the weather has been grey. Things seemed to be in neutral but now we are in the nineties. Dodger beat the giants two in a row and I went to park. Dodgers win, I got to stand in center field and watch fireworks.
Things are good.
Not perfect but when are things perfect really. Enjoy the moments when they come.