see you in hell

Thanks to facebook, I've been riding a wave of atheistic fervor.
With the tragedies in the world and no sense to make of it my faith in some sort of higher power is empty. And it's liberating... That being said...
The idea of the impending mayan prediction of apocalypse I decided to hedge my bet.
I'm taking off work early friday and enjoy the day just in case the world splits open and we are all hurled into space like so much meat.
If I'm wrong, fuck, work will be there...If not....Hey...where do you want to be when the end comes....
I'm not going to be a work, for this one at least.

run

I've been up and down for the past few months. It happens. It's what I do. But in the last few weeks I've been working on some things.
I've been reading. I've wanted to get some books off my list and I"m working on it.
Cleaning. I'm not so good with this but I'm doing something.
The best part is running. It's going slow. My legs hurt and my mind isn't as focused as it used to be.
I used to run for and hour or more. Push. and slow. and push. and stay in my groove but now it's hard. My mind wanders and I fade.
I'm not who I was ten years ago so I'm not panicking. It's disappointing that I've lost that time but now I have to invent myself again.
I may not be who I was but it means I'll be something new.
Ten years ago is a long time.
I've had several lives since then. All of them pretty fucking good.
I've started a new journal and another chapter in this life.

possum

Last night, watching TV, I heard the cat rusting in the catfood louder than usual.
I didn't notice the cat was at the end of the couch.
I got up to see why the cat was making so much noise and there was a medium sized possum in my kitchen.
I politely asked him to leave and he did.
I keep the back door closed now but I think the possum was some sort of sign for me to get off my ass and do things.
A possum.
Nice.

dead

Carroll Shelby ...dead

Adam 'MCA' Yauch...dead

Junior Seau...dead

Dick Clark...dead

Mike Wallace...dead

All of these people died this year. Some just a few days ago. I did not know any of them or met them but they were part of what I knew of the world growing up. 

They were icons. 

I've had a curious relationship with death in my life. It evolves. 

The when I read Carroll Shelby had died I had an unexpected reaction. 

The Cobra. The GT40. In my 20's and 30's the idea of racing or even driving those cars pushed me through college (not very hard apparently but the effect was there.)

The man who created those beasts is dead and I felt challenged. 

Challenged. 

I thought about the idea and passion to create those cars. The passion to create music. To become an athlete. When those people die I felt like I was challenged. 

Look what I did fucker....top it...

Maybe not top it but at least turn on it ....do something I do and really do it. 

Hearing the news mourning, and it is absolutely a shame that good people, creative people, contributors die, hearing that low, sad, headshaking tone, it felt like that spirit, that passion was really going to die with them. As if no one else could do what they did. 

But it can be, should be done, every day. 

When I was in college I hoped one day I would win the Nobel prize. Physics, Literature, Peace. I was really pulling for Physics but the odds of getting the call from Stockholm now are long but its not disappointing. 

I travel, I write, I draw, I see, I hear, I taste, everything, everyday. 

When I put it together that people that create and contribute live and show what can be done they die it is the signal to do it for yourself. 

Hopefully that signal is received beforehand. 

As long as it is received that is what is important. 

Houston

I made a horrible mistake yesterday.
Before the game instead of having a hot dog and coke , I had the more exotic jalapeño sausage. Very tasty and a local flavor, which I like but the ritual is the pregame, sometimes gametime, hot dog and coke.
Result: dodgers lose 13-0.
Day before: dog and coke. Dodgers win
I don't believe in god but somethings are sacred.
Nine hours to the plane.
The 59 diner.
A fifties diner with four flat screens up.
Come on, the fifties diner thing has run it's course hasn't it? Just have a cool diner, themes are for the imagination challenged.
Oh.
With where we are in society the theme diner will be with us for awhile.
Greasy eggs sausage and hash browns. A redheaded waitress named dot that looks like a dried apple with an intermittent hack for a cough.
That is a good theme for a diner....
Be home tonight. Work tomorrow.
Keep grinding

fire art at moca

This is where I was tonight.
Amazing.

http://youtu.be/4LixgduIyyc

home

I've been in my house for about 25 hours but I'm still coming home.

Slept for about 12 hours today. Got up at 11 pm now I"m still up. My schedule is fucked. I thought the extra couple of days ahead and after my trip might be a waste but my instincts were right all the way. I needed the time before the plane to ramp up and now after the whole thing these couple of days are like letting the clutch out slowly.

On the plane back, i was looking at the map on the screen at my seat and i realized in three weeks I did a lap around the globe.

Going to moscow we went over greenland and the train across europe and asia, then the plane from shanghai over the pacific.

Not a bad way to go.

I have journal writing to do and I have a bunch of emails to send the the dozen people i met on the trip.

the people, the sights, the time. It was all amazing.

I wrote, and its true, I had about seven once in a lifetime experiences on this trip.

I'm glad it's over.

I'm still absorbing it. Some of the people i met are still traveling and will be traveling for months. One guy on the train from mongolia is traveling and will end up at the shoalin temple studying kung fu.

Thats the kind of people i met.

thats why i travel.